“Mellenīt, I love you”

“Mellenīt, es tevi mīIu” - Mellenīt, I love you. How could she say that? The words came out of her tiny little mouth so naturally; so truthful, honest. I hadn’t even gotten the chance to memorize her name yet. But, somehow, she already felt as if she knew me - and maybe she did. I mean, how else could she have said those four words, three of which are often the most difficult to express? I’ve heard that children are known for being impulsive, straightforward, and greedy (despite their small size and high-pitched voices). It seemed so obvious to me that they act this way when they’re expressing an opinion or want to convince their parents to buy them a toy. Yet, I never really imagined that love would be expressed just the same.

It was the very beginning of July. I was working in a summer adventure camp for children, partially because I love children, and partially because I thought it might help me reconnect with my inner child. I was running around the resort, finishing some last-minute tasks before the adventure began. I had taken it upon myself to be the person who welcomed the children to the camp when they first arrived. “They’re here!” yelled one of my colleagues. I rushed to the parking lot, excited, yet nervous. I had never done this before; I was about to dive in - head first, not knowing what was waiting for me in the water. And then, there she was. The first person to arrive was a 9-year-old girl. I came up to her and her parents, greeting them all - kindly, and offering to help with their luggage. I turned my attention to the little girl, initiating a conversation - “Are you excited for the week?” “Do you know the story about the magical world you're about to dive into?”. She was shy at first, but after a few minutes, she became more comfortable with me. She opened up.

Once I had guided her and her parents to the check-in point, I asked if they needed any more help with anything; they shook their heads - no. “Thank you - Mellenīt!” said the mother, chuckling after addressing me as “Mellenīte” (“Blueberry”). I laughed. It's ironic hearing adults call me by my nickname. I started walking back, feeling encouraged and confident after my first interaction had gone so well. Waving goodbye to them, I was ready to welcome the other children to the camp. For the first couple of steps, I felt as if something was missing; or maybe it was someone. YACK! I suddenly felt a tight grip on my left arm. Startled but, somehow, not surprised, I looked down at my arm, to see the same welcoming, smiling, little face which I had come to adore so much. Confidently, with a happy, yet serious look on her face,  she declared: “I’m coming with you!”. I looked back at her parents - they were smiling, encouraging that she may come along. And so we went, hand in hand. This time, however, she was the one talking, asking me questions enthusiastically. I remember smiling, genuinely. Feeling fulfilled. Feeling so very seen, like never before. And I saw her. As pure and bright; as true as she was. And for a moment, it felt as if I was seeing myself - in her.

She was talking and talking and talking, not once running out of things to say. She spoke so genuinely - I could listen to her for hours. And then, sort of out of the blue, she said it:  “Mellenīt, es tevi mīlu” - Mellenīt, I love you. In that moment, in some way, time stopped for me. My world changed. The words stayed with me since that day. With those four words - three of which are often the most difficult to express; one of which is dear to me since I was a child, she, unknowingly (without me knowing as well), opened my heart. She broke down the barrier I had built around words of affection. For the longest time, those words were impossible for me to say - to anyone. Too heavy to roll off my tongue; too meaningful; too raw. But with her - this little girl, who I had known for 10 minutes and whose name I had not yet discovered - I felt so sure. I somehow knew that she SAW me. With her, in that very moment, I felt something I had not felt in a long time… I felt like “Mellenīte”. I felt like me. I just felt REAL.

I turned to her in gratitude and truth - “I love you too!”